I Said Yes to the Couples Costume

The Holiday Issue · His side here. Her side: He hates couples costumes. Here's how we found one he'd wear. at Typical Female.Pick a side ↓

Here's something I didn't admit for six Octobers: the couples costume scared me more than anything on a porch. Not the price. Not the effort. Being seen, on purpose, as half of something.

Every year around the first week of October, my girlfriend sends me a link. A pair of costumes, usually two halves of something: salt and pepper, a plug and a socket, two characters from a show I have watched exactly one episode of. Every year I say some version of "let me think about it," which we both understand means no.

This year she asked a better question. Not will you, but what exactly is the problem? And I didn't have an answer ready, which is usually how you know the answer is embarrassing.

What I was actually refusing

I am not anti-Halloween. I'll carve the pumpkin. I'll buy the good candy. I have worn a costume at nearly every party I've been to since college, and it has nearly always been the same costume: something I can explain in one word and take off in one motion. A ghost. A guy in a lab coat. A vampire with a plastic cape that goes back in a drawer.

I'm not alone in that. The National Retail Federation's 2026 survey found the top adult costumes this year are a witch, a vampire, Batman, Spider-Man and a ghost. In NRF’s costume trend breakdown, men were more likely than women to say they value classic or nostalgic costumes, 21% to 15%. Translation: a lot of us want the costume that asks nothing of us.

A couples costume asks something. It says: we are a unit, look at us. It is a joke that only works if both people commit, and committing in public is the part I've spent my whole adult life getting out of. I wasn't refusing the costume. I was refusing to be looked at on purpose.

I wasn't refusing the costume. I was refusing to be looked at on purpose.

The case against (and it isn't crazy)

Let me make the case for the guy I used to be, because he wasn't entirely wrong. A couples costume can turn into a performance for other people: the photo, the caption, the friend who asks why you didn't commit harder. Some couples are private in public, and that's a legitimate way to be in love. If one partner treats the costume as proof and the other treats it as a test, nobody wins. And there's a version where one person plans everything, buys both outfits and then resents the other for wearing his half grudgingly. That isn't a costume. It's a chore with face paint.

The case for (which finally won)

Here's what she said that got me. A couples costume is one of the few rituals adults still have that's pure play. No gifts, no money talk, no family politics. Two people agree to be a little ridiculous together for one night. She didn't need me to be thrilled. She needed me to be in it. Once I heard it that way, my refusal looked less like dignity and more like stinginess.

Three scenes from the negotiation

The link in the group chat. She sends matching inflatable dinosaurs. You reply with a laughing emoji and nothing else. In her inbox, that reads: no, and I don't want to say it. A better reply: "Not dinosaurs. Send me three more and I'll pick one tonight."

The Friday before the party. Nothing is bought, and she's quietly assembling her half alone. If you've stalled this long, you've already decided. Tell her, kindly, and offer the cheapest yes on the list below.

The party itself. You agreed, you're in the costume, and you spend the night apologizing for it. That's worse than a no. If you say yes, commit to the bit for two hours. Nobody is watching you as closely as you think. They're watching whether she's having fun.

The money is not the problem

I tried the money argument once. It doesn't hold up. NRF expects Americans to spend $4.4 billion on costumes this year, about $2 billion of it on adults, and 71% of people who plan to wear a costume say they'll buy one. A couples costume isn't a luxury. It's two of the most normal purchases in America, stapled together.

Six I would actually wear

So I made her a deal: I'd pick from a list that let me keep one hand in my pocket. Here's the list, in case your version of me needs it.

1. Witch and black cat. She gets the year's most popular costume. I get ears and a tail and the right to be aloof. 2. Two ghosts with sunglasses. Bedsheets, cheap shades. Funny, cheap, and nobody can see my face. 3. Vampire and the guy who keeps inviting him in. Cardigan, garlic necklace, a look of mild regret. 4. Mad scientist and the experiment. Lab coat for one, green face paint and bolts for the other. 5. Salt and pepper. Matching black and white tees with a hand-lettered S and P. Five minutes, done. 6. A pair of old-school heroes. If the nostalgia instinct is real, use it.

How to say no without it landing like a verdict

If you really can't, make the no about the costume, not about her. "I'm not a matching-outfits guy, but I'll wear all black and stand next to you all night" is a no that still says yes to the part that matters. Then follow through: take the photo, and tell people what she's dressed as before they have to ask.

A couples costume is a joke that only works if both people commit. That's the whole point.

We went with the ghosts. I'll admit it: walking into the party next to her, two sheets and two pairs of sunglasses, I felt something I don't usually feel in October. Not embarrassed. Claimed.

She wrote her side of this, and she's less charitable about my stalling than I am. Read it at Typical Female: He hates couples costumes. Here's how we found one he'd wear..

Your turn

Is a couples costume a sweet little ritual, or a public loyalty test? Pick a side below, and if you've got a story about the year someone finally said yes (or the year they didn't), send it in.

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Couples costume: romantic or a hostage situation?

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Romantic. Match me. Hostage situation. Let me be a ghost.

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Her side · Typical FemaleHe hates couples costumes. Here's how we found one he'd wear.Read her take ↗

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More from the Holiday Issue

• HalloweenNobody Asks What My Costume Says About Me
• HalloweenHalloween Party Ideas for Adults Who Hate Halloween Parties
• ThanksgivingI Watched the Game. She Cooked for Eleven.

Sources

• National Retail Federation, Halloween 2026 consumer survey (Prosper Insights, n=7,889, Sept 1–9, 2026). Americans are expected to spend $4.4 billion on costumes in 2026, about $2 billion of it on adult costumes; 71% of costume shoppers plan to buy one; witch, vampire, Batman, Spider-Man and ghost lead adult picks.
• National Retail Federation, "Top Halloween costume trends for 2026". Men (21%) were more likely than women (15%) to value classic or nostalgic costumes.