Ask a man who his closest friend is and watch what happens to his face.
Some men answer instantly. A lot of men pause, and the pause is the story. They name someone they haven't spoken to since a wedding in 2019. They name their wife. They name a group chat. They say, I mean, I've got guys, which is a sentence that means something different from I have a friend I could call at two in the morning.
This issue, Vol 1, Issue 3, is about that pause. We're calling it The Friend Gap.
What the numbers say
We try to be careful with statistics here, so these are the ones we checked, with links so you can check them too.
In a national survey in May 2021, 15% of American men said they had no close friends at all, up from 3% in 1990 (Survey Center on American Life). In Gallup's 2023–2024 data, 25% of U.S. men aged 15 to 34 said they felt lonely "a lot of the previous day," one of the highest rates among young men in the wealthy Western countries Gallup compared (Gallup). Among U.S. adults with a mental illness in 2021, 41.6% of men got any treatment, compared with 56.9% of women (NIMH). And in 2022 the suicide rate for men was 23.0 per 100,000, about four times the rate for women (CDC/NCHS).
None of those numbers proves that losing your friends causes the rest. We're not going to pretend they do. But they rhyme, and every man reading this already knows the tune.
What's in this issue
Like everything on Typical Male, the pieces below are composite, illustrative essays written by our editors from research and common experience. The narrators are not real people, but what happens to them happens to a lot of real men.
A man realizes the group chat is not a friend. A wife explains why being his only confidant is a problem, not a compliment. A point/counterpoint: a man who stopped waiting to be invited, and a partner who learned to protect his poker night. An editorial argues that men don't need more hobbies, they need a standing time. And two short Raw pieces: the things one man didn't tell his best friend, and the pallbearer question.
This month's question is simple: Who's the friend you keep meaning to call, and what's stopping you? For the first time, you can answer on camera. Record 15 to 60 seconds, post it with #TypicalMaleAsks, or send us the link on the homepage. Those responses are real, they're from you, and we'll label them that way.
Then call him.
If you're in a dark place right now, please don't wait on a friend. Our crisis resources page lists people you can reach tonight, including the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988 in the U.S.).
— The Editor